Haute Butterpop or Naught Even Welcome

2011/04/25

tags: Bible, Christ, Christian, Jesus, Jesus Christ

Call me a sound man, or even a “band-booster having fun.” But Amen, and Amen and Amen!

Evacuate the bars! Brew some coffee, turn up the lights, and face the music! Bring the boss, your kids, and anyone you fear human! Clear out your cubicle! Get out of your box! Cover your evenings with song! Come HOME for the company!, and may God’s abode be the model for happy homes! Direct the dancing as a foot of your family, and embrace every heartbeat!

Pew potatoes grow sprouts. They’ll wrap you up like spiders, and then pluck out your very soul. The sweet ones are all saccharin and the sour is all starch but they’re equally ready to do business. They would like to have you for dinner! Yet, even the worst of spuds can still be rooted out, or even become twice-baked!

Gladvertising helps people feel both welcome and invited, and that an effort has been made.

SPAGHETTI. You might think gentle Christians ain’t spasta wear pasta hair.
ICE CREAM. Nothing but hot fudge can freeze on Sundays for this loud-singer.
CHRISTOKE. If your family or other group ever sings to video, stay far away.
NO SMOKING. Tuxedo-chili dinner with our heavenly violin team at your table.
FISH FRIDAY. We know how to rock the boat. Hey – it beats our fish sundae.
THE LUCKY POTS. Your starving artists. Yes, we play for food. Bring it on.

THUNDERDOG. Men’s ministry, a happy band of hounds hunting for your heart.
TWO-FOR-ONE. Couples ministry, band for weekend retreats and special events.
THE TRACTORS. Saturday-night-and-I-ain’t-got-nobody LOUD Christian outreach.
THE GUMPSTERS. VFW team, kicks devil in the drumstick, beats him to the tempo.

MOTHER SUPERIOR. Women’s ministry, worship team for maternal Bible studies.
SUPPORTS-CAR WIDOWS. Turbo-stationary band-wagon. Listens to “little voices.”
DIAPER HANGOVER DOCTORS. Couples ministry, worship team for parental groups.
CRAZY COLLEGIATE HAMBURGER FLIPPERS. Kids dinner band, but irony for us all.

LETTUCE WORSHIP. Let-us worship with a “dance-hoppy” diet-and-exercise rabbit.
RUN FOR YOUR LIFE. Run, walk or wheel around to live, foot-pounding praise teams.
THE WALKIE TALKIES. Run, walk or wheel with scripture reading for aged/beginners.
THE DANCING SAVIORS. Local wedding bands, teaching for shopping/learning couples.
THOSE DIZZY CHRISTIANS. Run, walk or wheel around to some wild, center-stage bands.

CHURCHIANITY. Various hot-air balloon-heads, perched on pews behind the podium.
THE COUNCIL OF WELDERS. The underfunded dark-side steps out and stops the music.
THE PREACHER TEACHERS. Favorite Good-Samaritan kids, armed with loaves and fishes.
THE TEN COMMANDMENTS. A ten-member cast of lawbreakers, dressed for success.
(Star, Stricken, Nominal, CEO, Huey, Rambo, Playtoy, Fingers, Whiplash, Pine)

HAPPYVILLE. A more stage-friendly version of the recent Pleasantville movie.
THE SIBLINGS. Equalized Sister Act, with a MIXED-UP, disco-theque style choir.
THE GOLDEN RULERS. The third Thursday after Thurston Howell III, 1000 years.
A CHRISTMAS CAMPFIRE. Flintstone and Rubble, ignited from their first camp fire.

WATTS HAPPENING. Live-media Christian-music sat-van show goes to the action.
THE BIBLE BANGERS. The Christian rock and roll ham-mer, drums up your church.
FIRE AND BRIMSTONE. Hot-rock FM-style Christian band, gladly falls upon festivals.
THE CHURCH MONSTERS. Multi-church marching mega-band, admitting our mistakes.